OOna Piggywars4

OOna Piggywars4
Originally uploaded by studio583art.

The Great Piggy Wars!
(triumph photo series!)

It is a scary story that most silly humans speak only of in hush tones for the very thought of it embeds fear into your bones, terrifying even the biggest and most brave. Yes, I dare speak of the horrid tale of The Great Piggy Wars!!! AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWAAWAAAAAA!!!...Oh, uh, i’m calm now, yes it’s that scary.
Now be sure to turn on all the lights as i tell this tale of whoa or you will pee in your pants every time you hear a noise, i know i wi…wha!...what was that..see i told you…Anyway, where was i, oh yeah…so much of what is known about ‘The Great Piggy Wars!’ has been passed through a whisper while running past the other human in fear. That is why so little is known about the dark true evil that happen during this wicked period in our short time here on earth. Yes, dark, dark times were these for overrun were we with the feared vamppy piggy Wiggy AAAAAAAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWAAWAAAAAA!!!...oh, sorry…just mentioning his name made me pee in my pants again…opps…yes the noise you hear is your own teeth chattering for even you know deep down how horrible Wiggy the vamppy piggy was. Oh, dark, dark days indeed…You see, Wiggy’s reign of terror was so evil and horrible that even the sun would not shine for fear of Wiggy’s wrath so, well, it was rather uhmmm…dark which is partly why they said they were dark, uh dark days. Well, he was scary too (roarrrr…see, you peed in your pants…scary). Anyway, it was dark days, silly humans were running around screaming and bumping into one another. There was mass hysteria, no one knew when or who Wiggy the vamppy piggy would strike next. Now it often been said that Wiggy the vamppy piggy finally succumb to his own evil, destroying himself in some inner battle for more and more power. HA! The silly stories humans tell themselves just so they don’t have to face their truest, deepest fears. No it was not Wiggy the vamppy piggy dieing on his own fang (as is so often whispered in children’s stories to scary the freaking crap out of them), no, no for the truth is far more horrible to take i suppose. It was really the OOna kitty that finally did in Wiggy the vamppy piggy in what was one of the most horrid battle of earth. A battle that reshaped lands, created deeper oceans and even stretched new skies. You know the Grand Canyon, HA! before the OOna kitty and Wiggy the vamppy piggy battle, it was known as the Peewee Canyon. You know the foot on the end of Italy, well before the battle it was feet, two legs and a hip. Yes, the noise alone pushed Saturn on the other side of Mars and crushed it’s 200 moons into what we now think are rings. Yes the battle was the horrible and most silly humans buried their heads in the sand and this is why so few know that it was OOna kitty that really brought down Wiggy the vamppy piggy.
Now don’t go and starting thinking ole OOna kitty is your hero or something cause, well the OOna kitty didn’t battle Wiggy the vamppy piggy to save the silly humans. HA! she only took Wiggy the vamppy piggy down cause it’s kind of hard to have followers when your human minions are running around screaming and all freaked out and what not. When the silly humans kind of don’t follow your orders it really pisses an OOna kitty off. She first tried to work out a deal with Wiggy the vamppy piggy, offering him the artist and movie stars, but nnnooooooo, that wasn’t good enough for Wiggy he said that artist taste funny or something. Well, the OOna kitty had had enough, there is only so much an evil mastermind can put up with, she had to have her minion think straight. So the battle was fought and as you can see (uhmmm, you have to take your hands off your eyes…err, ok, at least look between your fingers) in these never before seen photos that it was touch and go for the OOna kitty. With great danger to life and limb (i might add that i ran in fear many times for the battle was so great), you can tell just how skilled the OOna kitty is and why she is a true master of evil. Wiggy the vamppy piggy fought sloppy and all over the place where as the OOna kitty watched and waited to learn just how to defeat the terrifying Wiggy the vamppy piggy.
And yes, though now we will soon be under the control of OOna kitty’s evil mindmelt at least now the sun shines again and we are free to ponder, “How beautiful you are oh master OOna kitty.”, and “How best can I serve you today oh wonderful, evil OOna kitty.” Yes, freedom is ours, freedom to grovel at the OOna kitty’s chocolate-chip paws…

Obey the OOna kitty!